The Married Life
by Ohara Pirate
Summary: Ranma always thought getting married would get rid of the complications of his life. Too bad his little sister decided otherwise.


**The Married Life**

**By Ohara Pirate**

**Chapter 1 – Little Sisters…**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters who are originally from Ranma 1/2 or Love Hina… even if I could own them, I'd much rather prefer to just create my own characters that can rival them in every shape and form.

**Summary:** For once, it honestly wasn't Saotome Ranma's fault but that didn't mean his little sister-in-law wasn't going to blame him for all of her troubles.

* * *

"characters talking"

'_characters thinking'_

* * *

Ranma was roused from his much desired sleep by the sound of a telephone ringing. He let out a breath of relief when his mom picked it up, but was startled when she began to adamantly squeal at whoever was on the other line. He guessed it must have been someone was particularly close with otherwise she wouldn't have sounded so happy.

Oh forget it, he was tired and nothing was going stop him from sleep…

"Ranma-chan! Pick up the phone, it's for you!"

Dammit.

Wait, a call for him?

That was weird. Why would his mom be so excited over someone looking for him? The type of people who usually wanted his attention were placed into two categories; "Ranma, prepare to die!" or "Hi Ranma, I'm your fiancée!" The former was common even after all these years. The latter was also, unfortunately, common despite the fact that he got married quite some time ago, stupid Oyaji. Luckily, his wife took care of that particular problem, with great joy too, if the smile she had on afterwards meant anything.

Fumbling for the phone next to the bed, he finally found it on the fourth try.

"Moshi-moshi, Ranma here." He mumbled sleepily while smacking his lips, trying to get some moisture into his dry mouth.

When he didn't hear anything, Ranma looked at the phone, groaned in annoyance, and flipped it around before repeating his greeting. _'Stupid thing, we gotta get a speakerphone…'_

His eyes popped open in shock when a high-pitched squeal yelled at him in a panic. He would recognize that voice anywhere but if Ranma didn't know any better, he'd have sworn the girl on the other end of the line was crying. But that was impossible; he'd known her for several years now and only one thing, or rather one person, in existence ever made her shed tears.

And that person was downstairs in the kitchen helping the mothers prepare… breakfast? He checked the clock and saw that it was early in the evening, nearing dinnertime. Wow, he pretty much slept the entire day away, how come nobody came to wake him up. Whatever, his wife was helping with supper then, just like every other day.

Holding back a yawn, Ranma nodded at all the right places, oblivious to the fact that the caller couldn't see him.

"Alright, alright, calm down already. It can't be as bad as you're imagining. You tend to overreact when it comes to her. Are you still having nightmares about her? Hope you're not wetting the bed again." Ranma chuckled at that last part, he loved to tease her.

"Onii-sama! I am not overreacting! You know what she's like! …And I never wet myself, BAKA ONII-SAMA!" He cringed as she shrilled that last part very loudly. Holy crap, he hoped the ringing in that ear wasn't permanent.

"Yea, yea, deny it all you want, I still know the truth and have pictures to back it up. Aw crap, I'm way too tired to deal with this right now. Alright first, take some deep breaths."

"But…!"

"Don't argue with me and just do it. You need to calm down before ya give yourself a panic attack and keel over, probably over nothin' too."

Ranma nodded satisfied when he heard her take several deep, long breaths. "Alright, now why don't ya tell Nii-chan, very calmly and quietly, what caused ya to freak out this time?"

He rolled at his eyes at the low, hushed response. "Come on now, I know I said quietly but don't start talking like a mouse now. I can't understand ya if you don't speak up."

"I said… IliedtoAneue."

He blinked at the quickly-spoken statement that was repeated. There was no way he heard that right…

"Huh?"

Ranma heard an adorable little growl, not unlike an angry puppy, before she started to speak with barely concealed irritation. "I said, you idiot brother-in-law, I. Lied. To. Aneue." He was glad that she took the time to say punctuate each word because he still didn't believe her.

He stood there like a statue, stupidly blinking for a few seconds longer, before cracking up hysterically. "Hahaha, oh man, ya got her voice down perfectly. That's great, ya even fooled me!"

"Onii-sama?" The voice was clearly confused.

"This is such a good joke! Hahahahaha!"

She growled in frustration. "Onii-sama, this is no joke, you stupid brainless…"

Ranma cut her off midway. "Look, whoever you are. I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but the person you're pretending to be isn't going to appreciate that kind of humor. Or any humor actually. She's a bit of a buzzkill to be honest, but I still love her. Plus there is no way in hell she would be stupid enough to lie to her older sister, ever."

Before the obvious faker could respond, he hung up the phone and flopped back onto the bed. Ranma snickered in amusement, a funny joke was always a good way to start the day. He had no idea who could imitate his sister-in-law so perfectly, but he or she deserved an acting award.

"Hehehe, Motoko-chan lying to Tsu-chan. Yea right, that'll happen the day turtles can fly."

He shut his eyes hoping to go back to sleep before deciding that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Sighing, Ranma jumped out of bed, flipping in mid-air and sluggishly dragged his feet to the bathroom connected to their bedroom. Rubbing the fatigue out of his eyes, he started to brush his teeth but stopped when he noticed that his wife's toothbrush was missing. "That's weird…"

Looking around, Ranma saw that some of Tsuruko's other bathroom stuff was gone too, including her favorite shampoo. "Maybe she just ran out of all that junk."

Somehow, he didn't think that was what happened.

…Why was he talking to himself?

His mind went back to the phone conversation just moments ago and a chill went down his back. Motoko really couldn't be that dumb, could she?

The phone started ringing again. Rushing back to the bedroom, he quickly picked it up in a panic. "Motoko-chan?" Ranma choked when he recognized the other person's voice, and it was not his adorably shy tomboy…

"No dearest, it's me. Why would you think it was little sister? Rather curious, anyway I'm glad to hear you're awake. Now I don't have to bother the mothers to get you."

…Nope, it was his beautiful, amorous, drop-dead gorgeous wife. A wife who fully expected her husband to always shower her with compliments and give her tons of hugs and kisses, not that Tsuruko was self-obsessed or snobby or anything like that. She just loved it when he paid attention to her, she's told him on a number of occasions that it made her feel beautiful, loved, and wanted. And those were things that Ranma wanted her to feel every single day. Besides he learned a long time ago, it was never a good thing to disappoint Aoyama Tsuruko, ever.

Ranma shuddered and put away thoughts of the disasters that took place when they were still dating. Some things were just too horrible to even rethink. Actually he wasn't sure what ranked higher, an angry Tsuruko or the Nekoken training. Mentally debating that for a bit, he decided that a pissed-off Aoyama Tsuruko trumped any and all trauma he suffered in his life. Nekoken, Jusenkyo, fiancées, countless debts, seppuku pact, mallet-sama, even Happosai! Bring it all on! Nothing could compare to his wife's wrath!

"Bwahahahaha!" Ranma stopped laughing when he realized that having a scary wife was nothing to brag about. After all, it was during those dark times as he dubbed it, that Tsuruko invented a forbidden fighting style of her own, based on kendo and oddly enough, turtles. He had the privilege of naming her style, Kamedo meaning Way of the Turtle. Poor Motoko was its sole practitioner, and was now afraid of turtles almost as much as he was of c-c-a-a-a-a… stupid furry things.

Ranma turned his attention back to the phone when he realized that Tsuruko had gone silent when he started laughing like an idiot earlier.

"I do hope that wasn't your ego taking over again, dearest. I thought I corrected that issue long ago."

"Hehehe, Tsu-chan, where are ya? I was getting worried and I missed ya in bed." It never hurt to distract her from comments he didn't want to answer by bringing up events of the previous night, especially since she always enjoyed herself so much. A little too much if you asked him.

"Oh darling, you're so insatiable! How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" Ranma always loved that it didn't take much to make his wife happy, unlike the girls during his teenage years. He was definitely the lucky one in this marriage.

"Don't worry my husband, I promise to make it up to you later. With extra bonuses, of course… fufufu…" Ranma chuckled nervously, looked like he was in for another long night. "But right now, I have some exciting news about Motoko-han to tell you."

Dammit, so that caller from earlier really was Motoko. He found it too convenient that both Aoyama sisters called him in the same afternoon to talk about the other.

"Tsu-chan, is everything okay? What happened with Motoko-chan?"

Tsuruko let out a beautiful laugh, a sound that always made his heart beat a little faster, even now when he was worried about his little sister. "The most wonderful thing in the world happened. Oh honey, a miracle has occurred! Our little Motoko-han is getting…" He heard her pause when someone asked her a soft spoken question.

"Excuse me Tsuruko-san? Would you like some more tea?"

"Oh, yes please, and more of those delicious cookies for Shippu and myself, if it's not too much trouble. Thank you very much, Shinobu-han. Who's on the phone? Oh no, I don't mind you asking. I'm merely speaking with my husband. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

Ranma heard some flustered objections before a timid voice asked, "Hello?"

"Ummm… hi? Who's this?"

"H-hello, I'm Maehara Sh-Shinobu, pl-pleased to make your a-ac-acquaintance." He could easily imagine her bowing to the phone, that's how polite she sounded.

"Likewise, Shinobu-chan. I'm Saotome Ranma, actually heard a lot about you from phone calls and letters with Motoko-chan. You're supposed to be quite the little cook aren't ya? Hope I get to eat some of your food someday. Bet it tastes great."

"…"

Silence followed for the next few seconds.

"Hello?" Ranma cautiously inquired. A frightened squeak was let out before the phone was dropped to the floor, and then he heard what sounded like embarrassed apologizing, followed by tiny footsteps scurrying away along with Tsuruko giggling softly. That probably meant that he inadvertently embarrassed the young girl much to his wife's amusement.

"Well now, it seems my husband hasn't lost his touch when it comes to cute girls. The poor thing was as red as a cherry when she ran away."

Great, hope he didn't gain yet another admirer cause of this.

"Tsu-chan, what happened to you anyway? I really did miss you, ya know. I don't know about you, but I've gotten used to waking up next to the perfect spouse." Yup, the years have taught him to master the art of smooth talking his wife, or else he would have spent many lonely nights outside the house.

"Oh Ranma-kun… I… You are so…" Ranma-kun, she still called him that despite the fact that they were married. Just a little reminder, that she loved him just as much now as she did when they were younger.

They did this from time to time, just staying silent while enjoying each other's presence, even if it was over the phone. Man, he couldn't believe that he was capable of so much love for one person. He shook his head thinking back on that that kid who responded to emotions with insults and backhanded compliments. Ranma couldn't believe how stupid and immature he used to be.

Early on in their relationship, due to prior experience with all the other girls, Ranma thought the ideal way of dealing with the emotions he was developing for Tsuruko was to bury it deep down in his guts. But when he realized that he was losing her because of his pigheadedness and stubbornness, he got his act together and hoped it wasn't too late.

The thought of Aoyama Tsuruko not being in his life, chilled him to his core and he quickly confessed to her, abit reluctantly because he was… scared. Something that he admitted only to her, and she loved him even more because of it, it made him more of a man in her eyes. He knew right then and there, that he was head over heels in love with Tsuruko. The woman still thought of Saotome Ranma as a man despite him being scared about something. He didn't think she could get any more perfect than that. It still frightened him at times, even after all these years, how strong his feelings for her were.

"I love you, husband."

Her husband…

"I love you too, wife."

His wife…

It was still unbelievable.

Ranma shook himself out of his personal gooey monologue. "So where are you right now? I'm guessing you're not calling from downstairs," He smiled when Tsuruko giggled cutely again.

"I'm at Hinata City right now." Whoa, that was pretty far away. What was she doing all the way out there? And why did he feel like he should know that area for some reason.

"Actually at the moment, I'm visiting Hinata-Sou. It's such a lovely, quaint home with an in-built hot spring. You would love it here, dearest." The place really did sound nice. Actually anywhere with an open source of hot water was always a welcome to him; stupid lousy curse. Maybe he should join her there for an impromptu vacation. But why did the name Hinata-Sou sound so familiar to him?

"Dearest, do you want me to give Motoko-han your regards? I'm absolutely sure that she would love to hear from her loving Onii-sama."

Ranma's eye developed a nasty twitch as all the pieces finally came together. That's right, now it was all coming back to him. Motoko was staying at Hinata-Sou, located at Hinata City in the Kanagawa Prefecture.

Wait, then that meant Tsuruko was with Motoko right now…

Nodding to himself, Ranma knew exactly what had to be done. There was no question about it, there could be no hesitation! He had to rescue his tomboy from a fate worse than death! He ignored the surge of nostalgia that hit him.

He mentally calculated the distance from Kyoto to Kanagawa… _'Around 200 miles, I think? If I run right now, I could probably make it there by sundown.'_ One benefit of getting dragged around the world with his moronic panda of a father for over a decade was that he knew his way around terrain.

"Oh never mind, Motoko-han's right here."

Ranma could hear a tag conversation going back and forth as Tsuruko tried to get Motoko to take the phone, with the younger girl profusely declining. This went on for about four seconds until…

"Hi Onii-sama…" Motoko whimpered nervously into the phone, there was a slight chattering too which was probably the girl's teeth. Tsuruko most likely had her sword out right now and was silently threatening her sister with it. Poor kid, he should probably cut her some slack, but what kind of older brother would he be then.

"You didn't actually expect her to let you **not** take the phone, did ya?" The lack of response told him to shut the hell up and die. Ah, memories.

Ranma chuckled lightly, and shook his head at the irony of it all. "Oh Motoko-chan, was I really as bad as you once?"

"Once? Baka Onii-sama, I think you're worse now more than ever."

Before Ranma could think up a proper retort, he heard Motoko politely speak to her sister. "Aneue, could you give me and Onii-sama some privacy please." Cue frightened stuttering from the young kendoist, "No Aneue, I would never, ever talk about you behind your back. You know I have only the most utmost respect and love for you."

'_And fear,'_ Ranma mentally added, _'Lots and lots of fear, enough of it to choke everyone in Japan to death.'_

"Thank you Aneue." Motoko was probably waiting for Tsuruko to leave before continuing so he waited patiently, something he didn't have to do for too long. He had to pull the phone slightly away when Motoko angrily shouted. "I can't believe you hung up on me before, Onii-sama! And I do too have a sense of humor, you're just not funny!"

"Sorry about that, ya just surprised me is all. Also I'll have you know I am very funny! Your sister laughs at my jokes all the time!"

"Aneue is your wife, Onii-sama. She's obligated to laugh otherwise you'd just feel stupid that nobody else is laughing, and she doesn't want you to get depressed." Ranma had to admit she had a good point but he wasn't going to tell her that, so he decided that a little tough love was in order for the young kendoist.

"So how's your fear of turtles, Motoko-chan? Don't tell me those cute little things still freak you out?" Ranma snickered as he could literally feel her shudder across the phone. He always did have fun with her phobia, especially after getting ridiculed so much about his when he was younger.

"I don't know Onii-sama, how are you dealing with your phobia of cats? I'm thinking of getting you a kitten for a Christmas present." Ranma shivered and ignored the urge to look around for any sign of those mangy beasts. He also ignored the badly concealed laugh coming from the phone and just changed the subject again.

"Moving on tomboy, I still can't believe you lied to your sister of all people. I think it's time you told Nii-chan what this whole thing's about, okay? Otherwise, I can't fix it. And please tell me you're sick right now or something, because you know better than to screw up like this." Ranma couldn't believe how careless the girl he considered a younger sister was, lying to Tsuruko of all people. Disarming a bomb by hitting it with a mallet was safer than that. Hmmm… speaking of which, he'd have to visit Akane in the hospital again to see if she was out of traction yet, hopefully she still had her job in Tokyo as a cop.

"It's not my fault!" That excuse sounded awfully familiar.

"Motoko-chan…"

"I panicked!"

"What did you do?"

"I didn't know what else to do!"

"Will you just tell me already?"

"Onii-sama, this is all your fault! Because of you, I'm in hell!" Wow, what was this, a flashback to his high school years?

"Okay, what is going on you right now? Are you on drugs or somethin'?"

"Dearest, you shouldn't tease Motoko-han, she's just a little nervous. She is getting married after all." The conversation ended with a rather tense and awkward silence as both speakers slowly realized that wasn't the other's voice…

"Aneue?"

"Tsu-chan? Where'd you come from?"

"I'm just on another phone, darling. It's not hard to pick one up."

"Aneue, I can't believe you. Were you listening in this entire time?" Ranma and Motoko prayed not, otherwise they were both screwed.

"Oh no, I only found another phone right as you were telling Ranma-kun that you were in hell because of him. Is there something you'd like to share, Motoko-han?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing at all."

"Hold on, wait a damn minute here. Did you just say that Motoko-chan was getting married?"

His wife's previous words finally penetrated his thick skull. There was no way that could be true, right. Not his cute little tomboy. He'd kill the fucker first. No scumbag was ever violating his baby sister without going to the morgue. This included semi-perverted unintentional hot-spring peekers whose natural clumsiness and bad luck got them into questionable situations that demanded swift and righteous feminine justice.

Sneezing rather violently, Urashima Keitaro felt like he had just been stabbed in the stomach and wondered what this foreboding feeling was.

"Onii-sama, that's what I was trying to tell you earlier, remember?"

Shit, Ranma really hoped this was some twisted elaborate joke.

Regardless, it was definitely official now; Aoyama Motoko was mentally insane. She lied to Tsuruko about getting married of all things. Tsuruko absolutely adored everything about the institution of marriage, particularly traditional American marriages. From the wedding ceremony to the dress, the music, the dancing, the food and the drinks, the till death do you part crap, and especially the honeymoon. To find out that her little sister had lied to her about getting married, having a wedding, making a baby…

Tsuruko was going to be deprived of a niece or nephew to spoil…

Oh dear lord, his beautiful Tsu-chan was going to brutally murder his cute Motoko-chan!

He had to get over to Hinata-Sou right now!

"Ranma-kun?" Tsuruko questioned when she heard a dial tone.

"Onii-sama?" Motoko couldn't believe it. Did he just hang up on her, again?

"Oh my, I guess he must have rushed off to tell our mothers the good news. Now Motoko-han, let's talk about your wedding dress, I was thinking of a western one with a beautiful veil and long white bridal gown."

"Aneue…" Motoko whined pathetically, still in disbelief that she had been left in the lurch for a second time in one day.

'_Onii-sama better have a good reason for leaving me again…'_

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Author's Comments (R&R)

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Okay, I've been having trouble writing lately, mainly I always get stuck on one scene that haunts me to the point of endless frustration. So to try and get myself out of this funk, I've decided to upload a chapter I wrote way back when I was still writing my Ranma/Naruto story. I actually started to partially write chapter 2 just a few weeks ago, but I don't know how hard I'm going to push myself for this story so please don't get your hopes up for this one just yet.

Chapter 4 of Crossed Over is actually the story where I'm stuck on that one scene that I'm trying to get perfect so it doesn't sound **too** forced. But once I get that gate fully opened, I am absolutely confident that I can finish the rest of the chapter in a matter of hours. Argh, just that one scene, such a pain.

On the plus side, I got hit with a huge inspiration bat across the head for a story that doesn't fully revolve around the Ranmaverse so I'm super excited to get around to that after finishing up all my ideas for Crossed Over and maybe finally getting around to my One Piece story, where I am also stuck on that one haunting scene.

That's all I have to say, hope you enjoy reading this chapter because I fully enjoyed writing a Ranma/Tsuruko romance story. Love this crossover couple.


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